Decolonizing Thyself

This post is about the innate need to truly Know Thyself as the path towards shedding all beliefs, self limiting and self sabotage patterns, reactionary triggers, addictions, assumptions and a crap ton of other baggage we acquire by default being born and forced to adapt to this realm.

I’m prioritizing this topic as the start point or first post to this new blog as; until one is ready to become “Truest Self Conscious”(Thats not a typo)…

Expressing a willingness to shift focus from an outer events and persons being the source of what one is experiencing as life to one of turning “Real Eyes” upon the inner watcher of all, nothing truly progressive can be born into ones experience of life.

When a child is born their consciousness is wide open and perhaps not even limited by their 5 senses.

Example: Mom whose been breast feeding new baby for months since birth and babys eating and sleeping patterns are still all over the place but midwife who assisted in the delivery and has been consulting on babys stages and needs over time insist its time for Mom and Dad to have some “Just Us” time and make the leap of hiring a baby sitter to sit with baby so they can have a “Date Night” out – go see a movie.

Mom gets a manual breast pump and pumps a few bottles of her milk. Puts it in pre-measured amounts in baby bottles in the refrigerator and writes our instructions for the sitter as to when to retrieve a bottle and how to rewarm its contents to body temperature in a pan of warm water in a reasonable amount of time.

She has the baby sitter show up. Confirms she’s confident and comfortable with the baby. Goes over babys probably needs for the time allotted for its parents to be away. Goes over the note with instructions on how to feed baby if and when it indicates its hungry.

Parents leave. 45 minutes into the movie mom turns to dad with a look of distress on her face and holding her breast! Dad ask, “What’s wrong?” She pulls her her hands away briefly revealing her shirt is wet! She responds with, ” My milk is coming in! Baby is awake and hungry! I’ve got to call home! Dad’s not been here before so he decides to follow mom out to the lobby of the theater to listen in on the conversation.

Mom rings baby sitter. Baby sitter answers in distressed voice stating that baby has awakened and started crying. She’s picked up baby to calm her but not happening. Checked diaper and diaper is good. Tried rocking her back to sleep and not going there either.

Mom responds: “She’s hungry! Go get one of the bottles and warm it up real quick. I’ll wait.”

Sitter eventually comes back to the phone with warmed bottle in hand and picks up crying baby. Offers warm bottle of momma… Peace on Earth!

So… How did moms body know what was going down at home? She did solidly “KNOW” as if her baby was speaking and feeling right through time and space.

Long before cell phones, back when my mom was still on this side of the curtain of life and I was traveling all over the country for bicycle road races, I’d go a month or more between phone contact with my mom. My mom was not a lady of a lot of words but she noticed everything about everyone in details that defied logic. Things they had never spoken about or didn’t even know how to speak about.

I can’t begin to count the number of times I picked up the phone and called her and she picked up the phone on the first ring and mind you phones were hard wired to the house walls or phone outlets back then and we had short cord and the phone was not next to a chair or anything else one could be sitting next to it.

She would always say….”I had a feeling you were thinking about me and about to call! How you doing?”

It was always magical that she was like that. She was that way with most of my aunts and uncles and her mom too while my grandmother was alive.

Why did I bother to elaborate all this?

Here’s a kicker… Every single one of us is born with beyond the 5 senses abilities and innate features of our connectedness to those that matter to our survival and thriving in this realm.

Many, if not most will lose touch with these abilities as beliefs and preferences get installed in us with piles of negative and fear based emotions attached that become louder, brighter, more stimulating, and blocking out the subtleties of our finer spirit sense or abilities.

Ever heard of “It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease?” That means the wheel bearing that’s making all kinds of noise and vibrations gets the attention whereas the others that are just working fine are tuned out thus out of sight is out of mind.

Same true with our Truest Selves or the spirit that organized and built our bodies so we had these Earth Life Time Space Suits for Doing The Thing Called Life.

Here’s the thing… So our Truest Selves and the qualities and abilities of that spirit being-ness that doesn’t even all fit in our human meat suits gets muted by the noise of our inculturation and indoctrination along with the daily abuse and assault forced upon us to go from eating living foods (Breast Milk) to eating dead foods – cooked stuff that’s been reflavored or even manufactured to deceive the tongue into believing its even ok to let past itself what’s offered as food or nourishment that in raw or unseasoned form is offensive or at best unattractive or bland.

Day by day, week by week, month by month and year by year we feel pulled and pushed further and further from our innate desire to move, eat, sleep, poop and pee, cry, laugh, dream, and even day dream, feel truly connected to anyone deeply.

Does all this mean our Truest Selves are no longer the major player in our day to day lives? Has it really been “buried”? Or even as many feel forever destroyed or broken?

No, its still there. Still intact. Remember, it knows no time, no physical barriers, it was before the body existed. Its the magnetic and intelligently organized invisible to most, a force or spirit pattern that motivated that one sperm out hundreds of thousand, perhaps million to even form, then out swim all the others to magnetically be navigated to that one tiny egg released by momma whose connection with that egg helped it know which sperm was “The One” that would team up with it and coordinate with the life force of momma and to some degree the father that was the bridge for the sperm to begin orchestrating the weaving out of moms ingested foods converted into complex biological sentences of living chemicals that the Truest You’s Life Force narrated the construction of your unique body that became your Home for your learning school called life on Earth.

Remember again that this Life Force and any intention sent out into it knows no boundaries or limitations. So even if its seemingly tiny baby desires become muffled or buried under its early years of let downs, not being heard or understood, being judged, abused, confused, and traumatized, that life force is still there, still responding as perfectly as ever to whatever desires and even beliefs that little persons projects on into adulthood.

The gist of this is that our lives, the lives of others and even what seems like non living things and events do continue to respond to deeply real intentions going outwards and inwards creating a kind of both inner and outer holographic projection of what we most need to learn about ourselves and this realm.

It was back in my 20’s that I began to realize that no matter where I went, traveled to or lived my patterns followed me and recreated themselves over and over again in amazingly creative and a lot of the time painfully repetitive ways and I’d find myself saying “Why me?” …and the patterns would somehow scramble themselves and come back even louder and more boldly and more painfully with each incarnation!

It wasn’t until I decided to ask a different question when thrown to the deck by life that my True Self began clearly show me that I was the power behind the dramas of my life! I shifted to: “What are you trying to teach me?” Which comes out of curiosity instead of “Why ME?” which implies I’m victim and being punished for what?

It was this turning of my spiritual inner eyes towards what seemed like a dim elusive voice within that allowed me to turn on the darkness that haunted me only with compassion and curiosity instead of spite and avoidance. It was this shift that allowed my Truest Self to ratchet down the need to grab me by the neck and put me down on the deck just to get my attention.

It was the real me or Higher Self, helping me spot the imposter me, (The ego or fabricated self made of beliefs and opinions laced with reckless use of life-force we commonly refer to as emotions polarized as positive and negatively charged) and bit by bit bringing me to modalities, insights and others further along than I that helped me expand the gap between ego and Truest Self so all these phenomena could be witnessed and “Inner Stood”.

This my friends is the first stage of Decolonizing Thyself. Consciousness is the beginning of healing.

More to come on this topic


Erskien Lenier